It’s not so much about “listening” as it is about the nature of the relationship:
– It doesn’t feel good to be forced to listen.
– It feels really good to feel the deep connection that comes from listening to somebody we want to listen to.
Something similar happens when we try to be more mindful, i.e. to listen more to our inner sense. It is good to have the intention, but it is generally counterproductive to force ourselves to do so. It takes a sense of allowing, a sense of curiosity, to progressively discover how deeply satisfying it is to be in touch our inner sense of who we are. Just as it is ultimately deeply satisfying to feel connected with other people in an atmosphere of mutual respect.