You and your partner talk… but do you feel heard? It takes a conscious effort to reverse the vicious cycle of miscommunication. This process is called “active listening”. Other ways to describe it would be to call it “enhanced listening” or “focused listening”. The basic idea is that, as you listen to somebody, you pay special attention to understanding what this person says.
Now, what’s different from what you feel you’re already doing?
The difference is that, instead of just assuming you are listening, you actually focus on what the other person is saying in order to summarize what they said, in a way they would agree with. This ensures that your attention is on what they say and mean, as opposed to what you think they say or mean.
This short, illustrated book helps you gain a new perspective on what happens between the two of you through some simple and powerful couples communication exercises.
Readable on any computer or tablet
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Feel Heard, Not Hurt! outlines profound concepts in a direct and powerful way. It also provides specific, step-by-step advice on how you and your partner can practice together to improve your communication skills. It is the opposite of a traditional, exhaustive “how-to” manual: With only 36 pages, and many illustrations, it is very simple without being simplistic, and you’ll “get it” at a gut level.
Praise for this book
“Feel Heard — Not Hurt! offers a lighthearted, readable, and lucid account of how we keep hitting our heads against the wall in our intimate relationships, thereby ensuring our continued frustration and isolation. The author offers a practical, helpful structure through which couples can feel heard and understood, which can lead to the connection they seek.”
– John Amodeo, Ph.D., author of The Authentic Heart and Love & Betrayal
“A fun, easy-to-read introduction to some of the most important principles of communicating with those we love.”
– Warren Farrell, Ph.D., author, Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say