Demystifying mindfulness: Why it is hard to be mindful?
We so value mindfulness that we sometimes put it on a pedestal. The problem is that, when we put something up there, it starts to feel like an ideal that is difficult to reach. So we slide into perfectionism. We get intimidated. We forget that mindfulness is very much part of our evolutionary heritage.
Now, why is it so hard to do such a simple thing as taking a pause to be mindful? It really helps to understand the obstacles, so we can be responsive rather than reactive to the challenges of life. Hint: When we have trouble doing something simple, chances are it might be a protective mechanism against a perceived threat.
In case this all feels a little abstract to you, here is a concrete example. This 30-send video shows why, for some of us, "listening" has a bad connotation. It's good to understand why, and to see how things can be different.
It's not so much about "listening" as it is about the nature of the relationship:
- It doesn't feel good to be forced to listen.
- It feels really good to feel the deep connection that comes from listening to somebody we want to listen to.
Similarly, forcing ourselves to be more mindful is not necessarily the most effective way. It helps to better understand the context, and what it means to us.
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