Mindful vs Mindless   Active Pause®

Self Coach Tools for Everyday Mindfulness

This section offers free online and downloadable Self Coach Tools and Self-Help books as well as self-coaching videos, and more. It is part of the Active Pause project - - making sense of life, moment by moment:
- Demystifying mindfulness as our natural way of being
- Mindless vs Mindful: Relational mindfulness as proactive interaction with life

Mindful practices:

mindful pause

One-minute mindful pause to get a grip, literally

Literally get in touch with inner experience, by squeezing a little ball. Web page

Mindful Listening Partnership FAQ

Mindful Listening Partnership FAQ

To free up our creativity, it helps to explore the issue in a Mindful Listening Partnership. It involves you (the Explorer), and a Listener. Web page - OR - Download

coming back to our senses

Mindful Eating

Eating is meant to nourish us nutritionally and sensorily. We miss the experience if we are eating on "auto-pilot". Linda Ciotola provides practical suggestions for mindful eating. Download

coming back to our senses

4-3-2-1 Coming back to our senses

A practice developed by Karen Liebenguth. It can help us come back to our senses, slow down, ground us, connect us to nature and to ourselves. Download

embodied presence

The practice of Embodied Presence

The practice of Pausing and Grounding cultivates inner spaciousnes and access to the fresh and new experience of your life right now. Download


Mindful relationships:

couples communication

Feel Heard, Not Hurt! Proactive Couples Communication Workbook

You and your partner talk... but do you feel heard? This book helps you gain a new perspective on how to better communicate with your partner. More Info - OR - Download

Commitment Phobia Workbook

Commitment Phobia Workbook

This book is designed for people who deal with fear of commitment. It is meant for both the commitment-phobe, and the partner of the commitment-phobe.
More Info - OR - Download


More resources about a mindful, proactive approach to relationships

Self-help books & e-books:


Self-Leadership Workbook

Self-discipline is a wonderful thing. But what do you do when it doesn't work? This book helps you understand how you get in your own way, and how to go beyond that. More Info - OR - Download

12 steps workbook

The Proactive Twelve Steps

Describes the 12 steps as a self-directed process—as opposed to a mystical process in which change somehow happens to you.
More info - OR - Download

still a dad

Still a Dad: The divorced father's promise

You and your partner talk... but do you feel heard? This book helps you gain a new perspective on how to better communicate with your partner. More Info - OR - Download

time management

Time Management

A simple metaphor will help you understand how to get better organized and manage your time more efficiently.More info - OR - Download

stages of change

Six Stages of Change

These 6 stages of changing provide a useful roadmap in evaluating where you are in the process of making changes. More Info - OR - Download

Self coaching videos:

- Take the 3-day Challenge To Be What You Need
- A gateway to mindfulness in everyday life: Literally get in touch with inner experience

For psychotherapists:
- Using Active Pause to explore embodied experience and mindfulness in psychotherapy (video)
- Introduction to Sunflower Mind: Relational Mindfulness & embodied experience in therapy (video)


- Demystifying everyday mindfulness
- Mindful vs mindless: the mindful pause
- More resources about Everyday Mindfulness

- What is stress? How to deal with stress proactively
- More resources about stress management & resilience

- Resources about listening, felt sense & making sense

- Practical resources for mindful relationships

Other online resources

- Free Drift: Glimpses of the Implicit (creative explorations)
- Responsible Divorce: Making divorce gentler on children & families
- Proactive 12 Steps: The 12 steps as a self-directed process of mindful recovery
- Somatic Perspectives on Psychotherapy: Embodied experience and psychotherapy in the age of neuroscience
- Focusing Conversations, Exploring the variety of Focusing approaches (with the Focusing Institute)

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